So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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