I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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