ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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