That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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