I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
