Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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