Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
