bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
