I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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