i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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