Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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