Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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