What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
