he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
