so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
