She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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