that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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