i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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