then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
