I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
