So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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