its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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