"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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