You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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