I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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