The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
