At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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