Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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