i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
