Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
