she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
