shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
