I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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