After last night, I could never be a politician.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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