Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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