worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
