whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently you make a good broom.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
