dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
