I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
