Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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