and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We left the knife in your bed.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
