i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
