And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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