I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
