The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
