If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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