and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
