we made out on top of his cat.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
there is glitter all over my balls
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