Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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