She said her name was "party"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
