just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
