I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
