watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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