it hurts more in the daytime
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
