I'm really into asian looking animals
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
