Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
