windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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