When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
