no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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