I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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