Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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