Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
