life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
