You're my little dorito
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
