Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
